By Ron Gordon

Over the last several years, while visiting Christian schools across the country, we’ve asked hundreds of students the question “Who’s your favorite teacher?” The answers are quite consistent between groups with phrases such as “Miss Smith makes learning fun,” “Mr. Jones seems to be the only teacher that has control of the class,” or “Mrs. Turner actually cares about us.” Fascinating stories quickly follow, illustrating how these teachers have impacted their lives in powerful ways.

When recalling my favorite teachers, two names immediately come to mind from my first eight years at a Christian school: Mrs. Landes and Mr. Moser. However, they couldn’t have been more different. Mrs. Landes was serious, strict, and mostly stoic. Mr. Moser was entertaining and enthusiastic. That said, they shared several common characteristics, including a solid command of and powerful insights into their material, the ability to communicate concepts effectively, and a passionate love for Christ.

If you search the internet for the “most important traits of a great teacher,” several other vital attributes emerge.

When considering these varied qualities, there’s one keyword at the heart of each of these responses. What is it? Trust. It’s the foundation on which each of these qualities must rest.

Patrick Lencioni’s best-selling book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team identifies the absence of trust as the most common and most severe dysfunction that a team, or in this case a classroom of students, can have.1 Without trust, classmates are fearful of engaging, leading to stifled class communication and a focus on protecting themselves, which may even lead to undermining classmates’ responses. When the teacher leads their class with godly wisdom and transparent communication, including acknowledgment of their mistakes, the classroom is transformed into a trusting environment conducive to learning and growing together.

Still, Scripture repeatedly reminds us not to put our trust in man but God alone.

“Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish” (Psalm 146:3-4).

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5,6).

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord’” (Jeremiah 17:5,7).

So are we not to teach our children to trust others, including teachers? No. In Ephesians 4:20-24, Paul explains we were taught through Jesus’ model how you must leave “your former manner of life . . . corrupt through deceitful desires” and be “renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” We must become more like Christ through the power of the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NASB) explains that we all, “looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”

While we train our children to trust in God alone, we must also teach them to have discerning hearts that recognize those who are like Christ and follow their model. As Paul shared in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Our Christian school teachers, who are certainly not perfect, should be aspiring to continually seek after Christ and be conformed to His likeness.

As you go through another academic year, consider these four focus areas as you build and strengthen trust with the students you are blessed to steward.

Know your material. Children are perceptive. They know when their teachers are well prepared and have mastery of their topics. Preparation exudes a humble confidence that assures your students they can trust what you’re saying. There is no shortcut to mastery. It takes intentional training, development, and a consistent, ongoing pursuit to approach mastery.

Know your environment. As alluded to previously, a classroom climate of fear can be stifling. Whether it’s an unhealthy fear of their teacher or a misguided fear of their peers, students in this environment will not feel encouraged to share and learn actively. The classroom, however, must be orderly, with an abounding respect for authority and one another. Students need to trust they are safe to share and explore within their classroom and with you, their trusted tour guide.

Know your students. While seemingly obvious, many teachers do not take the time to understand their students as individuals, each with their own unique gifts, specific learning styles, complex backgrounds, and passionate pursuits and callings. Engage your students individually, and actively listen to them. Cultivating a meaningful relationship with your students will foster the trust needed to shepherd their hearts and sharpen their minds.

Know your Lord. Undoubtedly, the most essential aspect of a great teacher is understanding and modeling the greatest teacher, Jesus Christ. It has often been said, “You can’t teach what you don’t have.” When we saturate ourselves with knowledge of Him and His precepts, we can share any topic or subject with our students from a biblical perspective. Modeling Christ to our students requires daily intentionality to grow in our relationship with our Lord and Savior, in whom we ultimately want our students to have unshakable trust.

Jonathan Pokluda, in his recent book Why Do We Do What We Don’t Want To Do, powerfully observes that “very rarely do people just wake up trusting in Christ. . . First, they trust a person modeling Christ, then they trust that person’s God.”2 What a weighty thought! Make this academic year the most transformative year ever in your students’ lives. Build trust!

Ron Gordon is the Executive Vice President & COO of RenewaNation and leads their Christian Education Team. He holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Industrial and Systems Engineering and an MBA from Virginia Tech. He spent 22 years in the Defense industry, leading manufacturing organizations, managing high-level projects, and building cross-functional teams. In addition, Ron has supported church plants, led AWANA groups, and helped over 50 Christian schools through renewal and startup efforts. Ron and his wife, Tonya, live in Roanoke, Virginia, and are blessed with three adult children.

ENDNOTES

1. Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (Jossey-Bass, 2002).

2. Jonathan Pokluda and Jon Green, Why Do We Do What We Don’t Want To Do (Baker Books, 2023).

By Ginger Hubbard

“JJ’s making fun of my face!”

  

“Averi’s laughing at my drawing, and it’s not supposed to be funny!”

“MOM! Tell Gracen to stop teasing me!”

Sound familiar?

Teasing can manifest in many ways between children: mocking (imitating someone to make them appear and feel stupid, silly, or ridiculous) or insulting (verbally ridiculing or belittling someone to make them appear and feel inadequate or less significant). Whether the teaser is criticizing, belittling, or making fun in a joking way, teasing falls under the biblical category of “unwholesome talk” that fails to benefit the listener. In fact, unwholesome talk does just the opposite. It tears down the listener, directly violating God’s commands to love others (John 13:34) and build them up (Eph. 4:29).

Teasing is a Heart Issue

There are at least three reasons why children might tease: to get attention, to entertain, and to verbalize what they truly mean, with the latter typically losing the merit of truth when “just kidding” is quickly added after the verbal jab. All three motives are selfish, as they bring satisfaction to the teaser at the expense of hurting someone else.

If there is an audience, the motive is most likely geared toward receiving attention and entertaining. The motive is selfish when seeking attention or a laugh takes precedence over the feelings of others. Desiring attention at the expense of someone else violates God’s command to value the interests of others over our own (Phil. 2:4).

When children use teasing to say what they really mean, it is equally selfish and hurtful. Some children use teasing or joking to send hidden messages because they lack the nerve to speak candidly about their feelings. When called on it, they backpedal with, “I’m just teasing.” The “I’m just teasing” is a falsehood because they spoke about how they really felt. They were not truly teasing.

Other children have difficulty expressing their true feelings simply because they don’t have healthy communication skills, so they mask their true feelings by teasing and joking. Either way, this sort of teasing lacks the merit of truth, which is addressed in Ephesians 4:25: “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

No matter the reason or motive, teasing to express feelings is not in line with God’s instructions. To verbalize what is true in the heart and then follow it with “just joking” is deceitful. In Proverbs 26:18–19, we are told, “Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’” God instructs His children to say what they mean and mean what they say (Matt. 5:37). This verse also warns that “anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” 

Biblical and unselfish communication involves speaking the truth in love and encompasses the motive to bring good, not harm. According to Ephesians 4:15, through this sort of communication, believers grow in maturity in Christ: “Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

3 Steps to Help a Child with Teasing

1. Ask heart-probing questions

Asking questions helps children take ownership of the sin in their hearts, which will help them recognize their need for Jesus. You might say, “In the Bible, we are encouraged not to do things out of selfishness but to value the needs of others above our own. Could it be that you are putting your desires to get attention or to entertain above the feelings of the person you are teasing? Are your words showing love by building up, or are they tearing this person down? How would you feel if you were being teased in this way?”

These questions will help the child to begin thinking about what’s truly going on inside and what does and does not please God, even if they do not answer.

2. Reprove your child for teasing

Don’t overdo your reproof. Keep it simple. You could use wisdom from Matthew 7:12 by saying, “Jesus says we should treat others the way we would want them to treat us. Would you want to be treated this way? When you tease, you use unwholesome talk that dishonors God and hurts others. God’s Word instructs us: ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.’”

3. Train your child to edify others

Now that you’ve set the scriptural basis to avoid teasing, follow up with training in how to be an encouragement instead of a discouragement. You might say, “Not only are we commanded not to allow unwholesome talk to come out of our mouths, but Ephesians 4:29 also tells us to speak ‘only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’ Your words are not benefiting others. They are hurting others. However, the good news is that when God gives us commands, He also enables us to follow what He says through His Spirit. I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you to only speak words that will benefit and build up.”

Sin-Corrupted Humor

God designed us to bring Him glory. Sometimes that manifests as thanksgiving, and sometimes, as laughing and finding amusement, pleasure, delight, and enjoyment in Him and His creation. Good-hearted laughter with others that does not bring harm or hurt is one way we enjoy the humor He has given us.

Unfortunately, like all good things God gives His children, there are times when sin corrupts and perverts humor into a behavior that is not sanctioned by or pleasing to our holy God (often by way of teasing). God takes sinful teasing very seriously. When a gang of boys was teasing the prophet Elisha about his bald head in 2 Kings, he called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Two bears came out of the woods and mauled all forty-two of them (2 Kings 2:23–24). That’s a story that is sure to get your kids’ attention! Elisha was the Lord’s prophet. To ridicule Elisha was to ridicule the Lord. The severe consequences the boys in the story suffered as a result of teasing were God’s warning to all who would scorn the prophet of the Lord.

We can learn from the story of the boys who jeered at Elisha, “Get out of here, baldy!” God created Elisha’s bald head, just as He created us all with different personalities, characteristics, appearances, and interests. To make fun of any aspect of the unique qualities of God’s creation is to criticize the Creator Himself. Proverbs 17:5a says, “Whoever mocks the poor shows contempt for their maker.” Therefore, Christians should not tear one another down through hurtful teasing that dishonors God. Instead, we are to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thess. 5:11).

Adapted from Shawn and His Amazing Shrinking Sister © 2023 by Ginger Hubbard.

Ginger Hubbard, bestselling author of Don’t Make Me Count to Three, Chloe and the Closet of Secrets: A Children’s Book About Lying, and I Can’t Believe You Just Said That, speaks at women’s events, parenting conferences, and homeschool conventions and co-hosts the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard podcast. Visit her website at GingerHubbard.com.

By David Paine

Editor’s Note: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this article.

In May 2016, I was fired (and then agreed to resign) from a teaching position at a residential home and school for troubled children in Virginia. I resigned because I would not agree to a lie. Most children there had suffered abuse and neglect directly from parents or indirectly through absentee parenting. All had deep hurts and bad habits. As my wife says, “It’s not kids who have changed; it’s parents.” The job was challenging but also very rewarding. Philippians 4:13 was one promise I clung to each morning as I prepared to teach: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

The home and school had conservative roots, and God increased my boldness over time. While I taught world history, I increasingly gave my students a biblical worldview. They asked if I was a Christian. “Yes.” They also began to experience the freedom to bring God into classroom discussions. I’ll never forget one student saying, “We can’t talk about God in public school, but we can here.” Most of the students appreciated this freedom. Many good discussions followed over the years—about God working in world history and our individual lives.

Just as Harvard, Yale, and Princeton changed, this school also changed. The founding director retired, and the Christian and conservative values went with him. Not overnight, but soon enough. In 2012, supervisors began talking with me about keeping God out of the classroom. “It’s the chaplain’s role to talk about God,” they said. But I discovered the chaplain wasn’t even a Christian. So I had to make a decision. Would I remove God from my classroom or continue to include Him even though faith was now forbidden? Ultimately choosing the latter cost me my job. But God gave me four more years to plant many more gospel seeds.

In 2016 a transgender boy entered our school and my classroom. I had no problem teaching him, but I would not pretend he was a girl, let him into the girl’s bathroom, or allow him to sit at the girl’s lunch table. I had taught for over eight years, but I was gone within eight weeks of John’s arrival. They counseled me and tried to change my thinking instead of the other way around. I presented my case and requested an exemption, but the leadership refused to bend. As a Christian, I could not agree with the wrong of this on so many levels. God gave me the courage to stand up and leave.

God’s next assignment for me was in a public school. It involved helping elementary children learn to behave (a strange job in a public school). Behavioral disorders are now one of the three special education categories. And once again, the question of worldview became primary. The public school’s humanistic worldview is that if you fix the environment, you will fix the child. This is an overly simplistic explanation but hopefully provides some insight. A Christian worldview involves training children to adjust to the school environment, with some flexibility when working with special needs. And that’s what I decided to do. Here are the rules; if you follow them, there are blessings, but when you don’t, there are negative consequences. This was hard because these were not my kids nor my home. However, during the first two years, God blessed me with a decent amount of covering from the school principals. Also, my two assistant teachers were believers and agreed with the conservative approach. My wife, Elizabeth, worked in the same school as a teacher’s assistant and provided much encouragement and prayer support.

It was a beautiful thing to become a father figure to the boys in Room 132. (God only gave me boys.) I taught reading, writing, and math. There were play breaks throughout the day. I shared the gospel and prayed with them before they entered their regular education classes. They sat in time out with me when they refused to work or bit somebody on the playground. While in time out, I taught them right ways and encouraged them that with God’s help, they too could learn to behave. I got to shepherd their hearts. It was such a special, unique time, and many faculty and families saw the heart and behavior changes in these young boys.

Jesus said that the world would hate believers in Christ just as it hated Him. And once again, as a teacher, I experienced this truth. The principal, who covered me significantly during my first two years, moved on. The new principal was far less friendly to a Christian worldview and its practice in the classroom. The experience was similar to the previous job: Original leadership allowed for a significant amount of Christian practice in the classroom, and new leadership shut my efforts down within a short period. This time it was within a year.

The Faithfulness of God

God opened wonderful doors of opportunity to minister to troubled and hurting children. It was a burden and a blessing going through those doors. It’s challenging to lose jobs and painful when leadership and co-workers turn against you or simply remain silent. Following these challenging times, I testify that God is faithful to His promises. He provided all of our family’s needs, including education costs for our children. Someone anonymously put $2,000 into our school account. A month or so after that, a friend came up to me and handed me another $2,000 in cash. These are just two of the many examples of how God used His children to encourage us and help pay our bills during those difficult days.

God gave me a passion for teaching children and His truth. He has called me to minister in secular settings. Has God given you the same passions? Be prepared because He most likely wants you to be bold in those settings and do things His way. He may even ask you to speak His Word. And when you do, you may also be required to pay a price. Nothing is free. Bread has a price. Milk has a price. Following Jesus has a price. This is nothing new for disciples of Jesus. In fact, His first followers had to pay a price, and they rejoiced “that God had counted them worthy to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus” (see Acts 5:40-41). This pattern has continued for over 2,000 years, right up to today. May we all continue to stand firm in His truth and encourage one another as we take risks to be bold for Him because it is worth the cost.

David Paine met his wife, Elizabeth, while both serving in the military. After some bumps and bruises getting to know Jesus and one another, God brought much-needed healing and maturity. Today they reside in Virginia with their adult children. They both love to teach children (and families) and help them overcome the same challenges they encountered growing up. Also, they love learning the history of America, living on mission, the beach, and playing with their gaggle of grands.